Cat: there will be no Christmas - on cats’ approach to the festive chores, which reminds us of Grinch

Last week we discussed how the Christmas preparations and visitors can be quite stressful for a cat. But there are those elements of the festive chaos that cats absolutely adore, engaging in the chores with passion and helping us, cat Carers, with an extra set of paws.  Today we’re giving the stage to our cat experts - the cats from our myKotty crew, letting them speak for themselves about all the jobs that can’t be done without cats’ help. Cats - the blog is in your paws.

  • Thanks, hoomans! The matter is, as follows:  

Teddy, the expert: Christmas tree according to cats 

A tree, a tree… As cats, we don’t really understand why hoomans like bringing trees into the house - isn’t their place outside?! But since we do have to share our space with a Christmas tree, let me show you, hooman, some of the new trends. This season, a Chrsitmas tree should: 

  • be available to climb it, 
  • provide some dangling toys to paw at, 
  • don’t blind me when I’m trying to sleep - seriously, I know how to disarm the lights if I need to, 
  • defy gravity. Believe me when I say that I will immediately test if a slight tilting of the top of the tree right or left will cause a big BOOM! and check the real durability of your tree! 

And now, for the most important thing: the Christmas tree should be changing its decor at least once a day. I know that you are busy, hunting down the holiday sales and the freshest fish on the market - let me help you out and personally make sure that the baubles are changing their spots daily and at least some of the decorations land on the floor, as it is a written cat tradition. I will also be reminding that star on the top of the tree, at least once a day, that if it wasn’t for my duties, I would be sitting on the top! 

Tosia, the expert: traditional dishes on the cat table

Okay, hooman - the topic of tree is considered closed. But we both know that the tree is just for show - the most important things are the ones that land on the table. In my opinion it should obviously be only fish and meat, but let’s say this one time of the year we will compromise. I will be ok with pierogi and borsch, but you can be certain I will be helping to make them. You won’t find another sous chef who has their paws and fluffs everywhere like I do! 

Let’s start with pierogis. Those frills you’re making on the sides - ok, they look fine, but I do think that making them with my claws would make it even better. What I won’t let go is putting a paw print on every, and I mean it, every single one of them. A stamp like this confirms that the dough and the stuffing were quality checked - without the paw print, your guests might start wondering if you’ve simply bought them in a store! 

Who wants fish? Chef’s choice 

Oh, hooman, hooman - you still have so much to learn about festive cuisine. Last year you chose frozen fish fillets and let me tell you, honestly - that was a mistake! Fish needs to be fresh, aromeowtic and definitely shouldn’t be dripping melted ice from the freezer. It’s tasteless and, truth to be told, not very economical. Half of the weight of your “fillet” is water and ice. And then you say that there’s so little of it, a cat would cry out more! And cry she did, when she didn’t see a fresh fish! To the point now … This year we’re going for a fresh fish fillet and I, as the head chef of this kitchen, will make sure it’s properly cleaned and taste tested. I don’t recommend choosing any carps, pollocks, mackerels, brislings or herrings - I can’t taste them raw! A salmon or a cod - that’s the jackpot. And, important thing here, all fillets will have a bite mark, but don’t worry - the chef must leave an autograph on their signature dishes. 

Kitku Yoda, the expert: Presents from the heart

Do you know that when I sit on the window sill, I can spy on all our neighbours? When I see them packing their presents, I get chills - their boxes, papers and ribbons are asking for a feline intervention! And this makes me think of only one thing - you will definitely need my help. As a collaborator, I can offer: 

  • enchanting the ribbons by grabbing them with my teeth, sprinting through the cat dimension and hiding the most valuable ones under the couch;  
  • testing the capacity of boxes. Are you wondering if the gift you chose will fit in the box? I’m saying - it will, as long as I do fit in it. Didn’t you hear that gifts packed up into boxes that weren’t previously occupied by a cat won’t bring you luck in the new year? 
  • designer pattenrs on the packing paper. Holes, stripes, frills - you choose, I create. Though, actually… it’s better if you leave me with full creative freedom. 
  • Fluff in every box. It’s the most valuable gift you can give, so don’t be angry when some of my loose fur sticks to the sticky tape. Treat them as a free decorative piece. You’re welcome! :)  

Luna, the expert: Dinner is served

We have the tree, we have some presents, we have our maine course ready to be served - time to sit at the table. But how come there’s no plate for me? For the most important member of your family, the chef and the master of gift wrapping? Hm, I don’t like it, but ok, let it be. I don’t have to sit at the table - hoomans are boring anyways and I need some good fun. But before I go, I’d like to check one thing. Is your tablecloth cat-proof? If I were to draw on this loop, right here… will everything fall off the table and destroy the Christmas spirit? Better secure it well, because if my gift this year is a twig, I will definitely be testing your kitchenware’s durability. 

  • Hoomans, that’s all for us now, we’re running off for a nap. We’ll leave you to say bye to our fabCats. 

So how’s it going to be, fabCats? Are you hiring your fluffy friends to help you with the Christmas prep, or are the tasks they proposed here not convincing you to the cats’ point of view? Or maybe you have a bigger list of tasks your cats like helping you with? Share in the comments! 

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