Welcome to the New Year, dear fabCats! How was your Christmas, how was the break from work? We relaxed a lot so that we and our myKotty cats could come back to you with a brand new energy and new plans for the next few months. Did we find any time to make our new year’s resolutions list? Well, of course! But in making it, we had one very disturbing thought pop up in our heads - what would our cats think about our resolutions if they could read the list? We feel like they would find objections to at least a couple of our ideas. Which popular new year’s goals cats are definitely laughing about behind our backs?
When hoomans go on a diet, cats are happy to eat all day
The plan of dropping a few kilograms off your weight is a resolution worth applauding, especially if you can keep up the motivation, stick to your plan and enjoy the long lasting effects. Cats, however, silently think of such plans as beyond reason - what do you mean by “dieting”. One can’t simply say no to one more snack, a second breakfast or a slice of chicken filet grabbed from the kitchen table! Ha - hoomans could learn from cats who don’t have to do anything. In a cats’ world, every extra gram of fur multiplies the joy of cuddling.
Oh well. Us, hoomans, can’t live in luxury like our cats and sometimes we have to get it together. And as we are cat Carers who make sure that our cats eat a balanced diet too, we don’t have to put cat dieting on the list as well. Shh - the fluffy ones don’t have to know that they have us to thank for their purrfect bodies. Let them think that they can eat whatever they want, whenever they want. That’s for the best :)
New duties? I’d rather go for a nap
New year’s resolutions often focus on achieving some specific goals. I will learn a new language, I will start swimming regularly, I will put more energy into chores, I will be more productive, I will go for my well deserved holiday. And, of course, all of them sound great, but if you’re a cat… there’s no place for such plans. When we, humans, think about new goals to achieve in the new year, cats are laughing at us - after all, their only goal is to find a cozy place for a nap.
Duties? Forget it, hooman. A cat’s duty is to relax, eat, clean our bodies and relax again. And sometimes to hunt a fly, but it’s not this time of the year yet, so why think ahead.
Make education count
Foreign languages, cooking, programming, cat photography, driving - learning is a great thing and hoomans always need new abilities to help them conquer the world. From a cat’s point of view, their plans are a bit funny though, since for a cat they would all be substituted by one superior goal - to learn how to manipulate humans. Why? So that they bring the food bowl, when you want it, clean the litter box right away, and always, with no exceptions, give up on going to the vet at the sound of a cat meowing. Now those are skills worth learning!
And, let’s not pretend here, hooman - there’s definitely a lot to work on here, so maybe instead of all those fancy and expensive courses, there should be a lesson on cat communication and human submissiveness to the superior cat species on your list? With some practical skills like that you can be sure that your education won’t go to waste
Giving up on bad habits? Fortunately, catnip isn’t addictive
Cat’s willpower is a tool you can’t mess with. As people we can only admire it! When we put giving up on bad habits on our list, cats only think about ordering their next catnip meowhito or valerian whisky. In cats’ world, addiction to toys is not a problem - if they disappear, well - there are other toys, without the scent, that give a cat just as much joy! With cat herbs, you can only go the other way, where the scent simply gets boring after a while and doesn’t give them as much fun as it used to. But that’s easy to solve, too - after a short break and hiding the toy in a string bag, catnip will give a cat the kick they deserve.
What goals made your new year’s list, fabCats? And do you think your cats would leave the CAT APPROVED stamp on them, accepting your challenge? Let us know in the comments and remember - regardless of your cat’s opinion, making goals and achieving them is always praiseworthy :)